Wednesday, June 9, 2010

How He Loves

"He is jealous for me, loves like a hurricane, I am a tree, bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy..." so goes the lyrics to a song that continues to comfort my heart.

It's the song "How He Loves" from Crowder's latest album. I recall downloading the song on Itunes a few nights after I received news that a friend, Debbie, had lost her battle with cancer. I remember singing that song in church the next Sunday, Tony by my side. It was as if Debbie was singing that song down from heaven, telling me that God loves us so much more than we could ever fathom on this earth. I was comforted through my tears that day.
Less than 2 months later, that song came to me again.

The very night after receiving the tragic news about my husband, I awoke in painful sobbing that I had never known before. I didn't even know what to cry out to God. I groaned. And in that groaning, God brought this song to my heart. This time it was both Tony and Debbie singing it over me. How I celebrate that they know in full what we can only know in part on this earth - how very much He loves us. I celebrate their gain, I mourn my loss.

So I'm like this tree, bending beneath God's love and mercy. And funny thing, it seems in times where I just want to give up and topple over, this song comes out of nowhere to remind me again that I am in the very palm of God's hand. He is jealous for me.
Dearly loved,


  1. This song has deeply affected my walk in grief over Tony as well. I'll have days where I listen to it over and over...letting it wash over me and almost become a sort of balm for my heart. I agree that this song was given to us in these times specifically, to help us cope and perhaps even heal a bit.
    God is good.
    ~your sister, K

  2. thanks again, Mel-Friend! i miss them both so much this week! last weekend was a toughy for me with Debbie. this song has also comforted me and your words (His words) are so encouraging! i love you so much!!

  3. Everytime I hear this song I think of you and Tony...and how of course how deeply I am loved. Thanks for sharing your heart with us.