"Many, Lord my God, are the wonders you have done, the things you planned for us. None can compare with you; were I to speak and tell of your deeds, they would be too many to declare." ~ Ps. 40:5
I made what's become a weekly trip lately up 400 to our main church campus, North Point, today. I typically don't think much of this 20 or so minute drive, not too much rolling around in my usually sleepy brain. Today was a bit different.
Today I remembered my trip up and down 400 to North Point 6 years ago...October 22, 2006. It was my first date with Tony; it began with us attending church together. I'd say that was one of the best ways you could start any relationship, especially what would become a beautiful marriage.
And what's happened in those 6 years, well, you just can't make this stuff up.
I laugh at that very phrase. It stemmed from a former colleague of mine who did and said some of the most random things I've ever heard of. Her life, her words, you just could not make that stuff up if you tried.
As I reflect on the last 6 years, I can't make my life up either. It's full of absolute bliss and bitter hardship. It's random. In so many ways, it's what I could have never planned for or even imagined. It's a one of a kind chapter in my story.
It could only be scripted by One.
And that One is my great God, the author of my life.
And so, I find myself shaking my head and laughing. I laugh a lot these days. I mean, it sure beats crying. But even more, it allows me to release the pressure, to unclench my hands from what are merely imaginary reigns controlling my life.
I am not in control. I remind myself of that often. I can't plan or script my life, as hard as I try at times. I'm finding freedom in just letting God lead, allowing God to bring experiences my way. Sure, some of those really hard experiences are one's I would have never chosen, yet some of the very best are things I would have never seen coming. They take me by surprise; they leave me in awe and wonder of what my God is up to next.
And yet, they keep me in the present too because I don't want to miss out on what my God is up to in my life today.
And my today, well it was certainly full of random, but really fun and cool stuff...stuff I could not make up. It's been a common theme these last few months, much like the last 6 years. When I add up all the random, all the crazy, all the stuff I did not plan for, the difficult and the good, I can only thank my Jesus for carrying me through, for being the Blessed Controller of my life.
He is and always will be the Blessed Controller of my life. Only He can make this stuff up!
Dearly loved, and not in control,