Friday, March 11, 2011

A gift I never asked for...

I started this entry a few weeks back.  It was the first time I sat in my new place in complete silence, and I didn't quite know what to do with myself except to blog.  I'm grateful to have not been left alone for very long so far - I have an amazing BFF, Karen who has been my temporary roommate for these first few weeks, along with a few other sweet friends.

This particular evening, I came in from dinner with my new friend Sarah at Buckhead; I am so excited about digging into new community here.  As I walked away from her car and up the stairs to my condo alone, that gift I never asked for met me at the door.

It's becoming quite the "regular" in my life since moving out on my own, whether I want it around or not.  It joins me at the most unexpected times, the most unexpected places. 

It's been there all along these last 11 months; I just haven't acknowledged it.  I haven't really had to with so much to do, so many folks surrounding me.  I was really hoping I could leave it tucked away in storage, never to been seen again.

But it's as if I unpacked the last remaining box in my condo, and out it came. And, like an unwanted present that is too hideous to re-gift or give away, it looks like I'm stuck with it.

It is the gift of loneliness.

Why on earth would I ever refer to this as a gift?  I'm certainly not thrilled to have it darken my doorstep.  But having experienced it a few years back when I was on my own in South Florida, I can testify that it is a gift from the Lord wrapped up as a blessing in disguise.

It is a megaphone for my God.

When all is quiet around me, He speaks that much louder.

When I have no one else to talk to, I cry out to Him even more.

He shows up in my loneliness, my silence, with His calming, gentle Spirit.

He meets me just where I am and reminds me that though I may be physically alone, He is always with me.

Dearly loved,

1 comment:

  1. and so are we. Come over for dinner next time you get that kind of are always welcome and wanted in our home & around our table.
    Love you always.