I started this entry a few weeks back. It was the first time I sat in my new place in complete silence, and I didn't quite know what to do with myself except to blog. I'm grateful to have not been left alone for very long so far - I have an amazing BFF, Karen who has been my temporary roommate for these first few weeks, along with a few other sweet friends.
This particular evening, I came in from dinner with my new friend Sarah at Buckhead; I am so excited about digging into new community here. As I walked away from her car and up the stairs to my condo alone, that gift I never asked for met me at the door.
It's becoming quite the "regular" in my life since moving out on my own, whether I want it around or not. It joins me at the most unexpected times, the most unexpected places.
It's been there all along these last 11 months; I just haven't acknowledged it. I haven't really had to with so much to do, so many folks surrounding me. I was really hoping I could leave it tucked away in storage, never to been seen again.
But it's as if I unpacked the last remaining box in my condo, and out it came. And, like an unwanted present that is too hideous to re-gift or give away, it looks like I'm stuck with it.
It is the gift of loneliness.
Why on earth would I ever refer to this as a gift? I'm certainly not thrilled to have it darken my doorstep. But having experienced it a few years back when I was on my own in South Florida, I can testify that it is a gift from the Lord wrapped up as a blessing in disguise.
It is a megaphone for my God.
When all is quiet around me, He speaks that much louder.
When I have no one else to talk to, I cry out to Him even more.
He shows up in my loneliness, my silence, with His calming, gentle Spirit.
He meets me just where I am and reminds me that though I may be physically alone, He is always with me.