Lost...

It's the day between Good Friday and Easter.  It's the day between the remembrance of a horrible death on a cross and the resurrection to new life.  It's the day in between earthly sorrow and eternal hope.

In between.

I often wonder what it was like for the disciples during those days in between their Savior, their Friend breathing his final breathe on this earth and Jesus fulfilling what He promised them through His resurrection 3 days later.  What was it like to not know that His death was not the final verdict? What was it like to not fully have the hope of knowing that Jesus would rise from the grave, that it was impossible for death to keep its hold on Him?

I would imagine they felt very, very sad...and lost.  Who would they follow now?

Lost.

I've felt lost in a sea of emotions this week we call Passion week.  I am utterly exhausted as I tread to barely keep my head above water.  Tears have flowed quite frequently, and I haven't tried to fight them back.

One of my colleagues who just lost both of his parents led our Leadership Team through communion on Thursday; I was deeply touched as he presented the elements to us amidst his own sorrow and pain.  I stared at that bread representing the body of my Jesus and that cup representing His blood; all I could muster was, "Jesus, You are IT for me, and Jesus, You are Enough."

Then, it was on to Good Friday and my realization that this very day a year ago was the day I picked up my Tony's ashes from the funeral home.  Later that evening last year, I recall sitting at the Passion City Church service and boldly telling my God that He had better use my tragic story for His glory, or else just let me die.  Well, I'm still here, and He is certainly at work using my story (I take no credit).  He continues to answer my honest prayer.

I had the great privilege to serve alongside my dear colleagues at Buckhead Church's Good Friday services last night.  I could only take in parts of the images of my Savior's death; my head and my heart were spinning.  I was at such a loss to make sense of it all.  I mean, sure I believe all that took place on that very dark day, and I know Jesus had to pay that price to atone for my sin.  I was just overwhelmed in those moments, and my spirit remained overwhelmed until I feel asleep that night.

So here I sit on Saturday, this day in between.  I cranked up Passion's latest album as I worked around my place to get ready for Easter lunch that my parents are bringing here tomorrow.  David Crowder's "Sometimes" began to play; I closed my eyes to take in these words...

"It’s Your love that we adore
It’s like a sea without a shore
We’re lost in You
We’re lost in You"

That's it. That explains my emotions so perfectly. I am lost in Jesus, overwhelmed at His love for me, for you.  I am lost in the Truth that He would die an unbearably painful death to display to the world the endless depth of His love.  He will go to any length so that anyone, anywhere, may have the gift of salvation and eternal life in Him.  I am lost in the promise of heaven, a promise fulfilled for my Tony and one day for all of us who have a relationship with Jesus. I am lost in my Savior.

So now I turn my attention, my earnest prayers to those in my life, those yet to be in my life, those I'll never meet, who are lost without the Hope of Jesus, lost without a Savior.  I pray boldly this Easter weekend that Jesus would capture their hearts with His love, His grace, for truly there is NOTHING on this earth that trumps it.  There's no other promise like His.

The song continues...

"It’s Your love that we adore
It’s like a sea without a shore
Don’t be afraid
Don’t be afraid
Just set your sail
And risk the ocean there’s only grace
Let’s risk the ocean there’s only grace"

Dearly loved, lost in Jesus and risking the ocean,
Melissa