I've just come to accept the reality that my emotions run like a roller coaster. Some days I'm all down and out, other days I'm upbeat and happy. Such is the mystery of my grief.
And so goes my blog - sometimes sad, sometimes happy. Today, I choose for my blog to be happy.
It was a week ago today when I actually scripted this blog post. It was the day that I intentionally chose to see goodness throughout my day.
I awoke to read the end of Psalm 27.
"I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living." ~ Ps. 27:13
I have magnetic letters in my cube at work, which I use to make fun messages on one of my metal cabinets. That day when I got to work, I changed the message to "I will see goodness."
That evening, I made a "laundry list" of goodness I saw throughout the rest of that day:
I discovered lime flavored popcorn. Yummy!
I went to my first ballet class in 13 years (and I LOVED it!).
I laughed a lot with my colleagues and literally left work stating, "I can't believe I get paid to work at a place that I love so much."
I got an amazing phone call regarding a very cool legacy being set up in Tony's memory - details to come, but it is nothing short of amazing.
I made some encouraging connections within my new community.
I received news that I'm getting a big fat tax refund (though I can hear Tony reminding me that ideally I would have never given the government that much of my money to begin with! Circumstances beyond my control caused it, but it was perfect timing to get my money back!)
And those are just the highlights that my forgetful self can actually remember!
Now, it's not as if God just looked down from his heavenly throne and wiggled some puppet strings to cause goodness just to fall out of the sky. I mean, I'm sure he's capable of that.
It was more of my own mindset..my choice...to actually look for goodness, to choose to see it, to ask God to show it to me.
It is the perfect reminder that my God is good. He's the creator of goodness.
I've kept that mindset for a week now; I highly recommend it. Sure, the days to follow weren't jam packed full of tax refunds and amazing phone calls, but I did see goodness in the little things instead.
Perhaps I'll look for good even on the worst of days.
I find it quite fitting that the 23rd Psalm, probably the "most read" passage of scripture at funerals, ends with verse 6: "Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever."
Dearly loved, seeing goodness,