My last entry was about the sunset. And after every sunset comes the dark, black night over the earth.
I have just returned from travels where I witnessed amazing sunsets on both the East and West Coasts. They were breath-taking, awe-inspiring, God-ordained glimpses of heaven.
Yet, they cannot divert my nightfall. I have walked into my sunset and darkness is all around.
It is dark. It is black. It is night. And I find myself surrounded by sorrow.
I so badly want the sun to come up again. How long, oh Lord, must my night last? How long? How long?
The Lord promises in Isaiah 42:16, "I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them."
Yes, I am confident that God and His Word is a "lamp to my feet and a light for my path" (Ps. 119:105). Yet, my grief is so dense that I can only see enough to take the next step in front of me.
And I am scared (though God says to fear not).
And I feel alone (though God says He will never leave me).
And I dread each step (though I have an unshakable hope in Christ).
I dread walking through life without my Tony by my side.
Though I am like a child afraid of the dark, I must drum up enough courage to trust that the night will not harm me, that the One who created both night and day sees me in darkness and in light.
And where He leads, I will follow.