"I just wish I could fix it"...a phrase I've heard come out of the mouths of those I hold closest to my heart. My dad, my mom, Casey are just a few who have uttered those desperate words, grasping for something, anything to release me from these heartwrenching circumstances. And I know they would do all in their power to fix my pain, to fix my shattered dreams, to fix me.
And yet, they remain powerless.
They cannot fix me.
But, I am grateful beyond words that they love me so much that they would try.
I was reminded of that this evening as I watched a dance to Coldplay's "Fix You" at the SYTYCD live show. This one piece choreographed by a son wanting to fix his mother's illness has touched me deeply. Sure, it makes me think of Tony and my desire to see him whole again on this earth. I would give my own life for that.
But even more, I could see my loved ones' deep desire to fix me. Day by day, moment by moment, they see my hard road, they see my struggles, and they want to take my burden away.
And I picture their own toil, their own anguish, their own tears, as the reality of my situation tells them otherwise.
The song's chorus repeats, "Lights will guide you home...and I will try to fix you."
After the show, my mom and I drove mostly in silence, I was enamored by the beautiful harvest moon guiding our way home. What a fitting picture of the light of the Lord shining down His healing touch, all the while one of my greatest supporters sits as the passenger next to me. On any given day, I can interchange my dad, my brother, my best and closest friends, into that seat too.
I pray God continues to remind them... "Do not fear, do not worry, I see your heart's desire. I will fix her in My time. All you need to do is stay the course by her side."
It says in 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God."
Lord Jesus, comfort those who comfort me. Stay close to their side as you remain close to mine. And, please God, fix me. Fix me as only You know how. Amen