Monday, August 9, 2010

My mission field

Tony was my mission field. That was one of the first things I learned in our pre-marital counseling. Our counselor told us that we were to be each other's mission field, to view each other through the lense of a servant's heart, and that as we did that, our spouse's faults and mistakes would always be covered in love.

I miss my mission field. I feel so lost without it. I loved serving Tony. No, I was not a perfect wife by any stretch, but I can look back and see in our marriage that my thoughts about Tony's best interests and needs were always weaved into my day. The way I served him was only a fraction of the love and servanthood he poured out so extravagantly on me.

I could have been so happy fulfilling my mission as Tony's wife for the rest of my life. That was my "Plan A."

Life did not pan out the way I thought it would, so I'm left to determine "Plan B."

I sat in church last week in tears once again. The message was about lifting others up and asking God to give us eyes to see needs around us. I am fully on board with that, so I asked God to just give me a glimpse of what my Plan B mission might look like.

Later that week, He began to birth a new vision, a new mission, in my heart. Though I have a very limited view, I can see it is God-sized and one to rise up over time from the ashes of my Plan A.

For now it is just that, nothing concrete, and nothing to share specifically. Those of you who continue to pray for me, please pray that God unveils this Plan B in His timing, in His way, and that it would be completely of Him and nothing of me.

I just want to live my life "on mission"...whatever that mission may be.

Dearly loved, in Plan A and Plan B,


  1. Only God can heal a broken heart, and only God knows why a thing like this had to happen. I pray for you healing, Scott Pierce

  2. Melissa,

    You don't know me, we've never met. I never met Tony, however a lot of my C3 friends attest to what a wonderful man he was.

    I have thought about commenting several times, however something always stopped me, until today. I wanted to let you know that while you may not realize or intend for this blog to be a ministry to others, it is SO MUCH!

    I have never experienced the kind of loss that you are going through. I have definitely had to endure the death of MY dream and surrender to God's dream which is by far the best decision I've ever made in hindsight but at the time was extremely painful.

    Your blog is inspiring and you write with such grace. I can only imagine the incredible Plan B that God is preparing you for! I may never met you, but know that you have a cheering section that you don't even know about! Only God does that :)

    You are dearly loved!

    Rhonda Carter